On the back of my last blog series Get Real; i decided to embark on a new set of stories – this is Bossy.
If you’ve read Get Real, you’ll know how it all fell apart for me. You may have also read a bunch of (now) super awkward pieces i wrote for various publications and in Poor Lass (my other zine on class identity co-edited by Seleena Laverne Daye) on being a business cat and defying the odds.
Well, this week marks 3 years since i closed the doors of my own business and let me tell you – it’s taken me this long to realise that losing my business was not a full stop on my successes. It doesn’t have to change my identity to failed girl boss or leak the heavy weight of failure into other areas of my life and personality. It shouldn’t halt my progress, it shouldn’t define future outcomes for me. It definitely shouldn’t make me feel defeated. This wasn’t my first foray into being bossy and it sure as shit won’t been my last (if i really think about it and stop being so damn mardy and bitter about my damn bankruptcy).
This week (much like the rest of the world) i started binge-watching Girlboss on Netflix. Sophia Amoruso’s story is one i’m well versed in – she was very much on my radar with Nasty Gal – both as a fellow girl boss back when i had my store Getbusy but also her store was the shit back then. We were both focusing on a gap in the market for women – specifically those who had a strong sense of bad-assery. Be it the active side of my store – street, skate vibes to the bold statement vibe of her store. Watching the show has been a total boost for me. So many parallels and scenes i couldn’t believe i was watching – dude that’s me! The timing of it’s release has sat perfectly next to the fact i recently started a new course back in university – ten years after i originally graduated. This new course is through work and is in leadership specifically. I’m no longer my own boss but i am bossing it for a company i joined back in 2014 – essentially a start-up with lots of awesome opportunities to grow, try out new elements of my role and become a much more well balanced professional in my industry (less of the weight of everything on my shoulders – can i even afford cat food? vibe of being my own girl boss at the time). The leadership course has helped remind me of me. Who i am, what i’m capable of, my set personality did not switch the day i went bankrupt, that’s been there since day one and will continue to be that way – albeit it now brimming with much more experience and less being 24 (insert eye roll emoji). Would i ever go back into business? At this time i’m saying no because it all still feels so fresh and traumatic BUT do i feel like i’m destined to do something major with my life? Hell yes i do and i always have.
So here i am, now 30 – halfway through my bankruptcy, halfway through this awesome new netflix show and not even halfway through this new leadership course and i’m like – it’s time to revisit this shit. It’s time to look at where this came from, how did i get to the point of setting up in business, what happened along the way to help me pluck up the courage, how did i go about it, how did i make it happen?
This series will explore all of this right up to present where i’m now managing 4 people and am the head of my own department, 2 years after joining a business as an exec. What does it take to be a girlboss? Am i legit bossy or is that just the work me? Hell is work you really ever not the real you?
Coming Up Next: Bossy (2): You’ll Run This Country One Day