Get Real (5): But What Happens Next?

The stages of healing from trauma are set into blocks. Blocks that on paper appear linear; a beginning, middle and end. We experience the trauma (assuming it’s a one-time occurrence) – it pushes us off the track we were on and impacts our lives in so many ways and then the final (see: solving and therefore closing) chapter is the one where we get our shit together and learn to live life again. Cue images of people climbing mountains, jumping out of planes and walking through some Center Parks style scene with the extended family hand-in-hand.

Except, does that ever really happen?

I mean, I’m generally a pretty positive person – I also recently hit two years post trauma so really…why am i sat here in my pyjamas at 6pm on a Sunday night when i should be abseiling down the Sydney Harbor Bridge or starring in my own version of ‘Wild.’


The thing is, of course everyone is different. Everything is relative – no two people feel the same way after an experience, even when shared. We all process things differently and the level of processing will differ due to individual circumstance and experience. For some of us it’s years of avoidance despite intense therapy, for some it’s taking off on the Pacific Crest Trail (all jokes aside, Wild is actually an awesome film and super inspiring!).

For the next part of this series i want to focus on healing. On self care. On learning how to be you again. On navigating this life we have with a limited window of time. On recovery. No matter how long that takes…

In sharing my story, i unlocked new levels of friendship with people, i discovered the stories of others that they had chosen to keep to themselves previously. I saw the benefit of sharing experiences and the incredible benefits of learning from others who have been to those dark places too. The reality of healing can differ massively from the guides given to us by our therapists – it’s important to know that while best practice is discussed, it isn’t necessarily how a survivor will see things – and no one survivor is the same as another.

I’ve really benefited from reading blogs, anthologies and reading discussions online and so this next issue will focus on the things i learned along the way alongside real people who share their experiences, hints & tips too.

If you’d like to be one of those people, please email me on

Issue 2 i hope, will be released this summer.


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